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STEP FOUR: Mind over Matter
Learning to Love Yourself
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Need a good therapeutic cry? Have a listen to the inspirational song "Learn to Love Yourself" written and recorded by Olivia Newton-John after she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
The lyrics will haunt you with their poignant message: it's impossible to experience true happiness until you first learn to love yourself. For many people, that's hard to do because of the multitude of things they don' t like about themselves.
You know the familiar woes - your hair is the wrong colour, or it's curly instead of straight or vice versa. Your nose is too long, your eyes are too small and your figure is completely the wrong shape. You lack the character of your friends and you're not as clever or funny, and the list goes on and on.
Stop with the negativity.
Until you learn to love yourself, you don't stand much of a chance to get your body into good shape. Show us someone who is happy with their life and their shape, and you can pretty much guarantee someone who is not afraid to admit to liking who they are.
Truth is, no one is perfect. And while most of us will probably never feel entirely satisfied with our lot, we can get closer to self-love and inner happiness.
While there's always room for improvement, it's important we recognise the good things about ourselves that make us, well, us. Take this quiz: Find out if you love yourself enough, and if you don't, discover what it takes to get back on the self-love track.
Humour us for a minute - how many of these are you guilty of?
- Do you always think everyone is better looking than you?
- Do you dislike your shape?
- Do you think you're too fat?
- Do you avoid looking at yourself in the mirror?
- Are you embarrassed to undress in front of others?
- Do you skip meals in order to lose weight?
- Are you constantly on a diet?
- Do you usually dwell on your bad points rather than your good points?
- Are you unhappy with what you've achieved in life?
Think positive: before you exercise, do this exercise
Now, instead of negative thoughts, make a list of five things you like about yourself, and another five things you like about your body. This might be the first time you've consciously looked for positive points, but it's an exercise well worth trying. As Nike implored, just do it.
Now, let's look at ways you can feel more positive.
For starters, you're more likely to enjoy success when you wear an attitude that says I'm outgoing and optimistic. Toss out the timid and mousy and the woe-is-me. There's plenty of evidence to prove that those who firmly believe in success find ways to make it happen.
So, if you're short on confidence, make a point of indulging in positive thinking for ten minutes every morning when you wake up and before you go to sleep a night. Get a vivid picture of your slimmer and attractive body and visualize your life through that image and those twinkly eyes of yours.
Spend time imagining yourself in ideal physical shape, looking and feeling fabulous with good things happening to you.
Let the cameras roll
Maybe you see yourself indulging in a passionate encounter with the person of your dreams. Or the svelte new you is enjoying the company of friends at that quaint little bistro. Perhaps your daydreams centre on success in your studies or at work. Or you're stepping onto the dance floor, hot, dressed to thrill, turning heads everywhere.
Wow!
Whatever the image you focus on, make it so realistic that you taste, touch and smell the experience. While it may take some practice, once you get into the role, it's like watching a movie, with you playing the lead.
Remember, until you feel upbeat and positive about yourself, you'll find it harder to motivate yourself into shape. So picture yourself on top of the world now.
Pat yourself on the back
It helps to keep a note of your daily achievements, however small. It's too easy to move on to the next thing, or the next day, without acknowledging what you've actually accomplished. Our nature tends to fixate on the negative, the mistakes, and the things we later regret. Instead, fixate on the good, the positive.
By making time to review your successes you help build your self-confidence. Get yourself a notebook and write in it daily as you would a diary. In the same way, as you begin to lose weight, make a note, and each week congratulate yourself.
It won't take long to see yourself in an entirely new light.
Make yourself proud
Because life can be so demanding, it's all too easy to go day-to-day fulfilling your own needs without stopping to consider the needs of others. A big part of loving yourself comes from the reward of helping to make the lives of others more pleasant.
Why not team up with a friend (or two) and offer help and encouragement as they go through this life-changing plan with you. Make it a reason to deepen your relationship. You'll be surprised at how much of a buzz it gives you.
Make the call and ask to help.
Living your dream
We don't always get what we dare to dream without putting in a little effort. Even luck takes work.
If you ask six different people, you'll probably find six quite different views on how to succeed in life and fulfill dreams. Some may even suggest there's no point to dreaming, as fate will take charge of your destiny.
While each of us is perfectly entitled to our own view, there's significant evidence to suggest that you can get much of what you wish for by applying specific techniques.
Positive thinking and visualisation, when channelled correctly, can go a long way to get you where you'd like to be, in the shape you'd like to be in. Scientific evidence supports this approach.
Don't be shy: visualise the way you'd like to be
It's worth taking time out each day to visualise yourself the way you'd like to be. Experts believe we're at our most suggestive first thing in the morning when we wake and last thing at night just before sleep.
So start and finish the day with a five or ten-minute visualisation of your new self: slim, attractive, fit, successful, on a beach, with the partner of your dreams or whatever catches your fancy, and imagine living life as your ideal self.
Visualising is an acquired skill. So if it doesn't happen in full Technicolor with surround sound and your mind keeps wandering at first, don't give up. Stick with the thought. Eventually you'll get the hang of it and hopefully make your dream as real as real can be.
You have nothing to lose and it's a positive, fun and therapeutic way to begin and end the day. Regular visualisation of your ideal scenario will help you lose weight, improve your fitness and yes, love yourself a whole lot more.
Why not start tonight?
1. Brain Chemistry & Hormone Balance
2. Food & Energy Balance
3. Fitness & Muscle Tone
4. Mind Over Matter
5. Rest, Relax, Sleep & Fun
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